Loved all of this, Andy. So many great moments. At 54 (I was actually going to write 52... that's where I am with my age) my hat has long been turned around the right way, but I'm still holding out on the crocs.
The kids knowing how to swim is transformative, for sure. This brings back all the memories of "I thought you were watching them!" conversation/arguments. As soon as our kids could swim, though, they then wanted to do flips off of things, chuck each other off of rafts so their heads barely missed the edge, etc. etc.
Anyway, this made me laugh and smile throughout—really beautiful stuff. Looking forward to part 2.
Oh, and by the way—loving the music sprinkled throughout here. I haven't heard Man in the Box for many years, but I might have to put it on today. That voice. I saw them at Lollapalooza in '93, and we later saw the guitar player sitting in the beer tent area at a table, and I approached and nervously said something very memorable like, "Hey, I really like your music, man." He gave the tiniest silent nod, not looking at me, and I slinked away.
Ah, thanks, man. Really pleased to hear you enjoyed it! Reading your post yesterday has been another reminder to cherish these days (even when things aren’t necessarily going smoothly!)
Ah, that’s amazing that you got to live right through it - Pearl Jam, Nirvana, AIC etc., bet Lollapalooza was amazing.
Haha, that’s exactly the response I would expect from him!
Minecraft is all that my children talk about and it drives me insane. I try so hard to understand what's going on but I am, quite simply, shit at it. They'll be 'playing it with their minds' on the way to school and I'll throw in an idea to try and look engaged even though I'd rather be in bed with a cup of tea (the school run is my nemesis) and they both just look so disgusted with me as they deadpan "that doesn't happen in Minecraft."
My Nevermind faves are very basic – Smells Like Teen Spirit & Come As You Are. What are yours? (What other 90s bands do you like? I love a bit of The Cranberries)
😂 I honestly don’t have clue what they’re on about - they enter a different realm whenever they play/talk about it.
I once heard someone on a podcast saying Minecraft is good for kids’ development so I’m clinging onto that!
Zombie and Linger are bangers (don’t think I can name any other tracks though?!) My musical taste stopped developing circa 2008. I still think of Bloc Party as a hip new band and they’re currently doing a 20-year anniversary tour for their first album ffs.
I am also clinging to this! Doesn't stop me sitting my husband down at least once a week to discuss whether I should be concerned by how obsessed they are though, haha
Oh man, Bloc Party! The second I read that name my mind started shouting "IM GONNA USE MY TEETH AND MY BREASTS, IM GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN" at me. I think my tastes stopped developing around the same time, to be honest, though I do listen to some modern music sometimes. Not a lot though, most of it is just noise, as my grandad used to say 😂
Hahah, this line made me laugh out loud: "Their sleeve tattoos will mean nothing, the dad will turn his cap the right way around, and their high-top trainers will be replaced with Crocs." I can see the metamorphosis before my very eyes! Ps as an American, Mallorca sounds so glamourous and amazing! Hope I get a chance to get there some time.
Incredble 🤣 I once went to a family resort in Menorca well before I had kids (long story) and was astonished by the entertainment. I’m currently on a family holiday in Bali and can confirm I had 0 minutes sleep before our 7am flight out here.
This line - "this might make me sound like a bit of a prick, but I find it reassuring - ok, I quietly enjoy..." - haha, I'm totally with you. This kind of thing cracks me up.
I haven't been on a beach holiday like this since 2017, when my wife was pregnant with our daughter, those were early days. We had a nice time in Turkey, but the site of all the kids, the disco and the general chaos gave us pause. We knew then that it was our last chance to relax, child-free.
Lucky for us, we haven't had to do another one- instead my sister-in-law takes our daughter on holidays like this, which is fine by us. Last summer they were in Mallorca and although my daughter had a grand time, her aunt and uncle did not. Their biggest complaint was about the mediocre food and general hullabaloo of kids everywhere running riot.
Ah, yes.. We had a similar thing on our honeymoon (where Lou was pregnant - our timing was slightly off!) and thought exactly that - this is the last childfree holiday for many, many years!
Quite fancy Turkey - everyone I know seems to be going atm.
Pringles have gotten thinner and smaller- I’ve been buying supermarket brand instead (here in Sweden) and they’re SO MUCH BETTER. This is an alarmingly big issue in my life at the moment
Oh the innocent days of Minecraft…I remember having a protracted Cold War with my now 20-year old over whether or not he should be allowed to own and play GTA when he was a young teenager. I was winning for what felt like all the right reasons, and then Covid happened, and I lost. He was stuck playing FIFA on his own while his friends were cruising around Miami with virtual prostitutes. Cost/benefit analysis went in his favour by a whisker. I still feel a little dirty about it..
Oh God, I remember the GTA debates in my house when I was a kid (this was the early 2D carnations of jt, but still lots of very questionable stuff going on!) We have all this to come.
I mean, if you're a prick and you at least have the common denominator of parental kinship, then I must be off the charts. I am terrible for silently judging other people on holidays, and harried parents often get short shrift.
The Muse and I went to an adults only hotel on honeymoon - no shenanigans or anything, just all the families kept in the sister hotel next door. It was incredible!
Menorca was the destination for my last ever family holiday. I was 15 or 16, and I spent the entire time mooching around in an Alice in Chains t-shirt with my headphones on. This mean, mysterious air drew the attention of a girl from Pontefract and a short, intense holiday romance ensued.
Haha. Excellent. The dynamic gets a bit weird on those family holidays when you're teenagers. One year my brother made loads of friends and was drinking Hooch and going to the hotel nightclub every night, having the time of his life, but I was too young and had to hang around with my parents all week. Still stings now.
Wonder what the girl from Pontefract is up to these days?
Haha, made me chuckle throughout Andy. I took the kids on a cruise once when I was married , it was hard bloody work!! And they both refused to go to the kids clubs!!! the last few years on my own I’ve taken them mainly to centre parcs, which is pure ease ! Now they are 18 and 16 I finally feel brave enough to take them to Italy !! We go in a few weeks, wish me luck 😅😅
Ah, that is helpful to know about cruises - we've considered it but I think it could get very claustrophobic! Fantastic - have a great time in Italy. Must be nice when you can go out for drinks with your kids. Clubbing? Ha.
Haha, it’s so weird to see my son with a beer , daughter will only have a couple of sips of Prosecco or cider , thankfully !!! I would still recommend the cruise 😁
“Soon, like the rest of us, they will accept it’s over. It’s all over. Their sleeve tattoos will mean nothing, the dad will turn his cap the right way around, and their high-top trainers will be replaced with Crocs.”
Ahhh the amazing fun times of a summer holiday! Parents are exceptionally brave to take their kids away.
We went to Majorca when I was little. My brother disappeared (and was later discovered fast asleep under my parents' bed, on the hard, tiled floor). Then it looked like I'd broken out with chicken pox and a Spanish doctor had to be called. At which point I admitted that I'd tried to save time for the next day by covering myself in suntan lotion before going to bed, and was absolutely covered in gnat bites by the next morning. My parents were so pleased....
Hahaha, that note... It's mad! It's somehow struck a chord with people, but with so many writers on here, maybe I shouldn't be surprised (I thought maybe five people would like it... Erm...). We all fear we'll leave mistakes to go into print, but will we make one quite so big? 🤣 Gotta love the Grauniad and their spill chocker!
Ah crocs, the universal sign of “I’ve given up on life.”
😂 I’m not quite there yet but very, very close!
I was literally about to buy a pair. Might not bother now, haha
Don’t do it Charlotte, it’s a slippery slope 🤣
Unless you are in healthcare. Then they are acceptable.
Haha, I’m not! So will refrain… For now
Loved all of this, Andy. So many great moments. At 54 (I was actually going to write 52... that's where I am with my age) my hat has long been turned around the right way, but I'm still holding out on the crocs.
The kids knowing how to swim is transformative, for sure. This brings back all the memories of "I thought you were watching them!" conversation/arguments. As soon as our kids could swim, though, they then wanted to do flips off of things, chuck each other off of rafts so their heads barely missed the edge, etc. etc.
Anyway, this made me laugh and smile throughout—really beautiful stuff. Looking forward to part 2.
Oh, and by the way—loving the music sprinkled throughout here. I haven't heard Man in the Box for many years, but I might have to put it on today. That voice. I saw them at Lollapalooza in '93, and we later saw the guitar player sitting in the beer tent area at a table, and I approached and nervously said something very memorable like, "Hey, I really like your music, man." He gave the tiniest silent nod, not looking at me, and I slinked away.
Ah, thanks, man. Really pleased to hear you enjoyed it! Reading your post yesterday has been another reminder to cherish these days (even when things aren’t necessarily going smoothly!)
Ah, that’s amazing that you got to live right through it - Pearl Jam, Nirvana, AIC etc., bet Lollapalooza was amazing.
Haha, that’s exactly the response I would expect from him!
Minecraft is all that my children talk about and it drives me insane. I try so hard to understand what's going on but I am, quite simply, shit at it. They'll be 'playing it with their minds' on the way to school and I'll throw in an idea to try and look engaged even though I'd rather be in bed with a cup of tea (the school run is my nemesis) and they both just look so disgusted with me as they deadpan "that doesn't happen in Minecraft."
My Nevermind faves are very basic – Smells Like Teen Spirit & Come As You Are. What are yours? (What other 90s bands do you like? I love a bit of The Cranberries)
😂 I honestly don’t have clue what they’re on about - they enter a different realm whenever they play/talk about it.
I once heard someone on a podcast saying Minecraft is good for kids’ development so I’m clinging onto that!
Zombie and Linger are bangers (don’t think I can name any other tracks though?!) My musical taste stopped developing circa 2008. I still think of Bloc Party as a hip new band and they’re currently doing a 20-year anniversary tour for their first album ffs.
I am also clinging to this! Doesn't stop me sitting my husband down at least once a week to discuss whether I should be concerned by how obsessed they are though, haha
Oh man, Bloc Party! The second I read that name my mind started shouting "IM GONNA USE MY TEETH AND MY BREASTS, IM GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN" at me. I think my tastes stopped developing around the same time, to be honest, though I do listen to some modern music sometimes. Not a lot though, most of it is just noise, as my grandad used to say 😂
😂
Hahah, this line made me laugh out loud: "Their sleeve tattoos will mean nothing, the dad will turn his cap the right way around, and their high-top trainers will be replaced with Crocs." I can see the metamorphosis before my very eyes! Ps as an American, Mallorca sounds so glamourous and amazing! Hope I get a chance to get there some time.
Incredble 🤣 I once went to a family resort in Menorca well before I had kids (long story) and was astonished by the entertainment. I’m currently on a family holiday in Bali and can confirm I had 0 minutes sleep before our 7am flight out here.
Haha, it's so standard to start a holiday completely on the back foot. Have a great time in Bali - such a beautiful place, would love to go again.
There will be more about the evening entertainment in part 2!
Thanks for reading, Sara!
This line - "this might make me sound like a bit of a prick, but I find it reassuring - ok, I quietly enjoy..." - haha, I'm totally with you. This kind of thing cracks me up.
I haven't been on a beach holiday like this since 2017, when my wife was pregnant with our daughter, those were early days. We had a nice time in Turkey, but the site of all the kids, the disco and the general chaos gave us pause. We knew then that it was our last chance to relax, child-free.
Lucky for us, we haven't had to do another one- instead my sister-in-law takes our daughter on holidays like this, which is fine by us. Last summer they were in Mallorca and although my daughter had a grand time, her aunt and uncle did not. Their biggest complaint was about the mediocre food and general hullabaloo of kids everywhere running riot.
Ah, yes.. We had a similar thing on our honeymoon (where Lou was pregnant - our timing was slightly off!) and thought exactly that - this is the last childfree holiday for many, many years!
Quite fancy Turkey - everyone I know seems to be going atm.
Cheers for reading, Daniel!
Pringles have gotten thinner and smaller- I’ve been buying supermarket brand instead (here in Sweden) and they’re SO MUCH BETTER. This is an alarmingly big issue in my life at the moment
Haha. Yes! Definitely thinner and the taste has changed - for the worse. I'm fuming about this development.
Cheers for reading, Wendy!
🤣
Oh the innocent days of Minecraft…I remember having a protracted Cold War with my now 20-year old over whether or not he should be allowed to own and play GTA when he was a young teenager. I was winning for what felt like all the right reasons, and then Covid happened, and I lost. He was stuck playing FIFA on his own while his friends were cruising around Miami with virtual prostitutes. Cost/benefit analysis went in his favour by a whisker. I still feel a little dirty about it..
Oh God, I remember the GTA debates in my house when I was a kid (this was the early 2D carnations of jt, but still lots of very questionable stuff going on!) We have all this to come.
Thanks for reading, Anna!
I mean, if you're a prick and you at least have the common denominator of parental kinship, then I must be off the charts. I am terrible for silently judging other people on holidays, and harried parents often get short shrift.
The Muse and I went to an adults only hotel on honeymoon - no shenanigans or anything, just all the families kept in the sister hotel next door. It was incredible!
Menorca was the destination for my last ever family holiday. I was 15 or 16, and I spent the entire time mooching around in an Alice in Chains t-shirt with my headphones on. This mean, mysterious air drew the attention of a girl from Pontefract and a short, intense holiday romance ensued.
Haha. Excellent. The dynamic gets a bit weird on those family holidays when you're teenagers. One year my brother made loads of friends and was drinking Hooch and going to the hotel nightclub every night, having the time of his life, but I was too young and had to hang around with my parents all week. Still stings now.
Wonder what the girl from Pontefract is up to these days?
Thanks for reading, man.
Haha, made me chuckle throughout Andy. I took the kids on a cruise once when I was married , it was hard bloody work!! And they both refused to go to the kids clubs!!! the last few years on my own I’ve taken them mainly to centre parcs, which is pure ease ! Now they are 18 and 16 I finally feel brave enough to take them to Italy !! We go in a few weeks, wish me luck 😅😅
Ah, that is helpful to know about cruises - we've considered it but I think it could get very claustrophobic! Fantastic - have a great time in Italy. Must be nice when you can go out for drinks with your kids. Clubbing? Ha.
Thanks for reading, Francis!
Haha, it’s so weird to see my son with a beer , daughter will only have a couple of sips of Prosecco or cider , thankfully !!! I would still recommend the cruise 😁
Funny stuff, Andy! We have a vacation coming up next week. I'm taking notes.
Ha, thanks, man! Hope you guys have a great time. You staying in Europe or further afield?
“Soon, like the rest of us, they will accept it’s over. It’s all over. Their sleeve tattoos will mean nothing, the dad will turn his cap the right way around, and their high-top trainers will be replaced with Crocs.”
Yes!!
Ha, glad to hear this resonated. Cheers for reading!
Ha ha first time for us at euro camp with an 18 month old and my cousins three kids. Thankfully it’s France and the wine is 🤌. Making memories 😂
Ah, nice one - hope you're all having a blast! We're going to Eurocamp in France over the summer hols - looking forward to it (I think...)
Thanks for reading, Chloe!
Pringles are definitely worse - even worse!
Andy - this is hilarious.
You're right about The Crocs
Haha. Glad it's not just us - they taste more full of artificial shit than ever before!
Pleased you enjoyed reading - cheers, Cherry!
I agree about Pringles.
Thinner and taste (even more) artificial. Not acceptable. I still polished them all off, mind.
Thanks for reading, Sarah!
Oh once you start, you can never not finish a tube of Pringles…
Ahhh the amazing fun times of a summer holiday! Parents are exceptionally brave to take their kids away.
We went to Majorca when I was little. My brother disappeared (and was later discovered fast asleep under my parents' bed, on the hard, tiled floor). Then it looked like I'd broken out with chicken pox and a Spanish doctor had to be called. At which point I admitted that I'd tried to save time for the next day by covering myself in suntan lotion before going to bed, and was absolutely covered in gnat bites by the next morning. My parents were so pleased....
Oh dear.. what a holiday?! Jeez, your brother disappearing must've been incredibly stressful. Can see your thinking with the suntan lotion tbf.
Thanks for reading, Helen. I've seen your viral note getting shared far and wide over the past few days too - good on you!
Sadly no one was dressed as a giant chicken!!
Hahaha, that note... It's mad! It's somehow struck a chord with people, but with so many writers on here, maybe I shouldn't be surprised (I thought maybe five people would like it... Erm...). We all fear we'll leave mistakes to go into print, but will we make one quite so big? 🤣 Gotta love the Grauniad and their spill chocker!
Haha, it was a great note! Made me laugh.
Hahaha, thanks! It has been really nice seeing how many people found it funny. It's nice to have brightened people's days!
And the Spanish bin men... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣