I would never join the parents races never ! One year so many mums fell over , that someone broke both their wrists and someone sprained their ankle , so they banned parents races🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️😂😂
"Flexible as a fridge…" Not a natural gymnast yourself, then, but you are putting in the effort watching your kids, Andy! Takes me back to the years when my daughters did gym classes at Lewisham Sports Centre, trying to get their "bellies in the jelly", stretching-wise, and I'd look at the more senior boys and girls already twizzling around the asymmetric bars and wonder whether this was really my kids' forte! (It wasn't, but nothing's wasted, right?)
Took my granddaughter to her skateboarding lesson yesterday (a first for me) and she pointed out a photo on the wall of her teacher doing a hand-stand on his skateboard. You've got to have goals, I guess!
Thanks, Wendy. Some of the older girls (must be 12ish?) are in the gymnastics class at the other side of the hall and they are absolutely phenomenal. So impressive.
I remember being terrified by the parents' races at infant school sports day. We had to sit (cross-legged, of course) in neat rows flanking the 100 metres track and these dads were *hurling* themselves along it, all puffing and red-faced. The ground was shaking from the pounding of all those feet. Then the mothers, kicking off their court shoes and going barefoot: just as competitive but in mid-80s Laura Ashley frocks with big white collars a la Princess Di or cerise pink blouses with giant shoulder pads like something from Dynasty, passing in a cloud of Impulse and Elnett.
Aah, the humiliation of the parents’ race. My kids’ primary school days are long behind them but the memory of the fiercely fought sprint stays with me….and so does the sight of an ambulance on the playing field after one over enthusiastic/competitive dad suffered a serious injury as a result of his efforts. I never partook myself. The presence of super- sporty mums who had donned trainers and gym kit specially for the event was just too intimidating. 😮
My three year old son has just started this multi-sports activity, Ready steady go (completely psycho.) I'm glad to hear the small talk requirements don't become overwhelming.
Very funny Andy. My husband is a v good runner (a marathon a week) but I console myself with the fact he is also as flexible as a fridge and I can touch my toes. He may have more medals but I can bend!
That is a ridiculous level of running? Wow. I tried for approx 2 years to run 100k in a month and found it nigh-on impossible. I never, ever stretch which definitely doesn't help the flexibility!
When the very keen sporty mum has children the same age as yours it is inevitable who will win the mum’s race. That removed the onus to compete at all as far as I was concerned.
As the father of two toddlers I loved this! My older son is enamored with baseball, because here in rural Austria believe it or not is a large baseball facility and all the neighborhood kids play it. As a displaced Yank, I’m reliving my youth and playing too.
Tennis sounded brutal. Maybe your kids could play some very unusual sport and go on to great things. Windsurfing in the Humber. Or unicycling—it’s really catching on.
Haha, thanks, mate. I am sure they will try plenty of weird and wonderful stuff over the course of the next few years. I've just remembered I had a short-lived roller hockey phase as a kid (pretty niche in the North of England) and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Enjoy your Austrian baseball! Always nice to relive your youth.
Great read, Andy! I think we’ve been through all these sports and calamities ourselves. I somehow got coerced into coaching my twins’ netball team this year and my god - I’m regretful. A topic for another Substack another day!
😂 Cheers, Sarah. Good on you with the netball - there’s definitely a good post or two out of that! I bizarrely (stupidly) coached a kids’ football team before we had kids of our own - vowed never again!
Andy - you make my week (although I walk a tightrope between empathy for louise and encouraging you) - please don't stop sharing your anecdotes. I get it tho (and catching up on your serialised novel is on my list) - taking charge of a large body of words like our serialised works - and sharing these weekly one-offs too is a huge commitment. But - but but me no buts .....
Parenting is a competitive sport. It's hilarious watching other people's need to win! Here's Cheers! to you, from the windowless corner of the waiting room. 🍻
I would never join the parents races never ! One year so many mums fell over , that someone broke both their wrists and someone sprained their ankle , so they banned parents races🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️😂😂
Haha, it's brutal, isn't it?! I hope they ban it at the kids' school next year tbh!
Thanks for reading, Francis.
The spectre of school sports' day is about 40% of why I never had kids. Noping all the way out of that ritual torment!
Haha. That's a strong percentage?! I may well feign injury next year.
Thanks for reading/restacking, mate.
I might be exaggerating *slightly* for comic effect. Don't tell anyone.
"Flexible as a fridge…" Not a natural gymnast yourself, then, but you are putting in the effort watching your kids, Andy! Takes me back to the years when my daughters did gym classes at Lewisham Sports Centre, trying to get their "bellies in the jelly", stretching-wise, and I'd look at the more senior boys and girls already twizzling around the asymmetric bars and wonder whether this was really my kids' forte! (It wasn't, but nothing's wasted, right?)
Took my granddaughter to her skateboarding lesson yesterday (a first for me) and she pointed out a photo on the wall of her teacher doing a hand-stand on his skateboard. You've got to have goals, I guess!
Very entertaining read, Andy, as per!
Thanks, Wendy. Some of the older girls (must be 12ish?) are in the gymnastics class at the other side of the hall and they are absolutely phenomenal. So impressive.
Skateboarding is a bold move - good for her!
I remember being terrified by the parents' races at infant school sports day. We had to sit (cross-legged, of course) in neat rows flanking the 100 metres track and these dads were *hurling* themselves along it, all puffing and red-faced. The ground was shaking from the pounding of all those feet. Then the mothers, kicking off their court shoes and going barefoot: just as competitive but in mid-80s Laura Ashley frocks with big white collars a la Princess Di or cerise pink blouses with giant shoulder pads like something from Dynasty, passing in a cloud of Impulse and Elnett.
Haha, what an image! Hopefully some thick-rimmed specks and big perms going on too.
Thanks for reading, Helen!
I'm sure there were!!
Aah, the humiliation of the parents’ race. My kids’ primary school days are long behind them but the memory of the fiercely fought sprint stays with me….and so does the sight of an ambulance on the playing field after one over enthusiastic/competitive dad suffered a serious injury as a result of his efforts. I never partook myself. The presence of super- sporty mums who had donned trainers and gym kit specially for the event was just too intimidating. 😮
As an adult, being carried away in an ambulance at your child's sports day must be such a low ebb?! Not sure I'd ever got over that.
Yep - there were a few wearing proper running gear. My wife was in her standard work clothes so made the win more impressive. Ha.
Thanks for reading, Tess!
My three year old son has just started this multi-sports activity, Ready steady go (completely psycho.) I'm glad to hear the small talk requirements don't become overwhelming.
Haha. Any classes for 3-year-olds are wild tbh. Good luck with it! Yep, the small talking hasn't been as rough as I'd feared so far.
Thanks for reading, mate.
Very funny Andy. My husband is a v good runner (a marathon a week) but I console myself with the fact he is also as flexible as a fridge and I can touch my toes. He may have more medals but I can bend!
That is a ridiculous level of running? Wow. I tried for approx 2 years to run 100k in a month and found it nigh-on impossible. I never, ever stretch which definitely doesn't help the flexibility!
Thanks for reading, Margaret.
Bet the 7-year-old was short so lobbing was the correct strategic play. Well done.
Haha. It was perfectly executed.
When the very keen sporty mum has children the same age as yours it is inevitable who will win the mum’s race. That removed the onus to compete at all as far as I was concerned.
Haha. Fair enough. There are a few super fit dads who I will never get close to so might throw in the towel next year!
Thanks for reading, Helen.
As the father of two toddlers I loved this! My older son is enamored with baseball, because here in rural Austria believe it or not is a large baseball facility and all the neighborhood kids play it. As a displaced Yank, I’m reliving my youth and playing too.
Tennis sounded brutal. Maybe your kids could play some very unusual sport and go on to great things. Windsurfing in the Humber. Or unicycling—it’s really catching on.
Haha, thanks, mate. I am sure they will try plenty of weird and wonderful stuff over the course of the next few years. I've just remembered I had a short-lived roller hockey phase as a kid (pretty niche in the North of England) and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Enjoy your Austrian baseball! Always nice to relive your youth.
Great read, Andy! I think we’ve been through all these sports and calamities ourselves. I somehow got coerced into coaching my twins’ netball team this year and my god - I’m regretful. A topic for another Substack another day!
😂 Cheers, Sarah. Good on you with the netball - there’s definitely a good post or two out of that! I bizarrely (stupidly) coached a kids’ football team before we had kids of our own - vowed never again!
Never again!!
Another great listen Andy 👍✨ “I’m as flexible as a fridge” 🤣🤣
Thanks, Eva. Honestly, it’s horrific - my attempts at touching my toes are tragic!
🤣
Andy - you make my week (although I walk a tightrope between empathy for louise and encouraging you) - please don't stop sharing your anecdotes. I get it tho (and catching up on your serialised novel is on my list) - taking charge of a large body of words like our serialised works - and sharing these weekly one-offs too is a huge commitment. But - but but me no buts .....
Ah, thank you, Cherry - sorry for the delayed response btw, currently on holiday and tried/just failed to go phoneless.
Aware you’re also doing the serialised work on Substack (apologies if I subconsciously nicked your idea?!). How are you finding it?
tricky - a discipline - invigorating - worrying - quite nice - awful xx
Parenting is a competitive sport. It's hilarious watching other people's need to win! Here's Cheers! to you, from the windowless corner of the waiting room. 🍻
😂 Thanks! Summer holidays now and a reprieve from that godawful room for a few weeks!