85 Comments
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Lewis Holmes's avatar

Haha, this was excellent. I especially enjoyed the 'emails from reception' interludes.

Andy Carter's avatar

Thanks, mate. The "man lighting a fire" one was only a few days ago and inspired me to include them.

Matt's avatar

My dad was a probation officer for 30 years. He retired when he found himself dealing with the children of his original clients.

He once sat a client down with a calculator to show him he’d have made more money on the dole and staying out of prison than engaging in a life of petty crime. Not sure that worked.

Andy Carter's avatar

Good on your dad - that is some commitment! I'm 8 years in, and while I do enjoy it, not sure I'll last that long. Not seen any of the next generation yet - that must be quite depressing!

Seth Finkelstein's avatar

But he's a family friend!

The calculation depends on whether one sadly considers prison to be free housing and food.

Joanna Butler's avatar

Thank you so much, I needed a good laugh 😆 it bears a resemblance to teaching, only with fully grown children!

Andy Carter's avatar

Ah, thanks, Joanna. Yep, definitely some similarities. I did a Beavers camp with my son a couple of weeks ago (30+ kids in a field all weekend) and have so, so much respect for teachers/anyone who works with kids!

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Honestly, who hasn’t stolen a double decker bus?

Judge not and all

Andy Carter's avatar

Haha. The guy managed to drive it home while under the influence of a cocktail of drugs too - actually very impressive.

Cristina Carmona Aliaga's avatar

A transport emergency has happened to the best of us

Wendy McWaffle's avatar

Heroin is an antihistamine? Good to know. Btw, I choked on my lunch reading this 😂

Andy Carter's avatar

Ha. I've heard it has many uses.

Cheers, Wendy - glad you enjoyed!

Helen Poore's avatar

It’s rather like sorting out playground disputes but with greater violence and added drugs.

Andy Carter's avatar

Haha. Exactly. Parenting vs probation - definitely a lot of transferrable skills!

Zoo_Tot's avatar

At first glance, I read the comment as, "Parenting as probation." Ha! Kind of true. 😄

Helen Barrell's avatar

Love it!

My partner works in Probation, and every day, when he comes home from work and I ask, "how was your day?", I never know what might happen!

Andy Carter's avatar

Thanks, Helen. Ha - I imagine he has had some very similar discussions then. Say hello to him from me!

Helen Barrell's avatar

He had someone claim once, “I just happened to have a massive sword in the boot of my car.”

Me: I think we've just got a puncture repair kit and a car blanket, but should I check just in case?

John Squier's avatar

There is a great aphorism among American police officers: “Crime makes you stupid.”

Georgina Bruce's avatar

Great read! Think you need to write a book - I'll buy it!

Andy Carter's avatar

Ah, cheers, Georgina. Nice idea but might have to wait until I've left the job!

Catriona's avatar

I used to work with offenders, and this has brought back how much I loved them and why. Absolutely hilarious.

Andy Carter's avatar

Thanks, Catriona! Glad to hear it brought back some (fond?!) memories.

Claire Collis's avatar

This is brilliant. Could not do this job!! 🙌 I’m fully on number 4’s side though - hope they managed to sort an exorcism

Andy Carter's avatar

Haha, thanks, Claire! Glad to hear you enjoyed it 😊

Stacy Burnett's avatar

These were great! I'm sure you have seen and heard a lot! I am already looking forward to the next one of these!

Andy Carter's avatar

Ah, thanks, Stacy!

Katie Delaney's avatar

Epic, Andy. Just epic!!

Andy Carter's avatar

Sorry, missed this. Not deliberately being rude! Thanks, Katie - glad you enjoyed. 😊

Katie Delaney's avatar

They made me proper chortle to myself! Thank you.

William Moore's avatar

So if the lasagne hadn't been from Asda, he would have been fine with getting hit by it?

Andy Carter's avatar

Can only imagine how he'd have felt if it was from Waitrose.

Sharon Joslyn's avatar

Great stuff Andy. I salute you!

Andy Carter's avatar

Ha. Thanks, Sharon.

Sara's avatar

Hilarious. I’m pretty sure you could write a show purely based on these interactions.

Andy Carter's avatar

Ah, thanks, Sara. Nice idea - there's certainly an interesting cast of characters. Would probably have to leave the job first, though!

Sara's avatar

Hah definitely!

Zoo_Tot's avatar

I think you absolutely could make a series of YouTube shorts, and it would be a hit.